A Little Off The Sides Please

The Brazilians are fans. Porns are notorious for it. You know you love it. This week, it's all about maintaining the genital area for optimum aesthetic pleasure and accessibility.

No doubt you may be thinking that this is for the ladies. After all, you might imagine I might write, what could be sexier than a shaved, naked, vulnerable pussy ready for play? I'm sure you think I'll construct some elaborate and naughty game for all you bad boys and girls to engage in. Please. Do you really think I'm that predictable?

Because I'm a feminist and a sucker for a trimmed pubic area, I'm all about equality and think it's only fair that you boys get subjected to the razor. Allow me to provide a striking mental picture: Girl Friday is lounging luxuriously on the beaches of Europe while the sun melts down like liquid gold. Ignoring her taut tummy, finely toned limbs and skimpy bikini for the time being (so, a girl can dream, can't she?) Girl Friday gazes down the length of sandy coast covered in topless, cocoa-buttered bodies when she sees it. Quelle effrontery her eyes have never seen. It's a miracle she's not blinded. In front of her innocent, disbelieving eyes is very average man standing before her. In all other respects, he's nondescript in that pale, somewhat flimsy, Western European way. But, what awaits her below the bulge of Camembert induced tummy is a tiny little Speedo swimsuit encasing (and I'm sorry there's no other way to be delicate about this) BUSH! Not just a bit of hair, but a mini afro stuffed down the front of this puny, indecent bikini suit. We're talking dark hairiness running up the length of his inner thighs spilling forth in a mass of curly, wiry pubic hair barely contained in a wisp of spandex.

Now that you won't be able to sleep tonight, know that that image has haunted me for years. You will now share it with me. From that point on, I've had a problem with pubic hair just like I have a problem with melons and styrofoam. It's just a fact and now I want to address how to deal with this.

Men, there's no need to go all out. After all, a little something (and I do emphasize little) can be charming. Just attend to the area.

This can be accomplished in several ways. Firstly, a good old fashioned razor to trim the outer boundaries of the pubic hair can be quite quick and easy. Also, if you're looking to be really neat, you can always trim the actual hairs. As for the hairs that may be hanging out at the base of your shaft, it's a call you're going to have to make for yourself. Do you trust yourself enough to shave your little man with a steady hand? For those of you who are brave enough to try, I've heard tell that it can offer pleasures beyond your wildest imagination. As one male friend told me, "It's a whole new world of sensitivity." Groovy, sounds good to me.

For the more daring and thorough of you out there, you can always try waxing which hurts SO much more, but lasts much longer. Of course, if the idea of hot wax poured over your groin, then ripped off with your now-rootless hair attached isn't your idea of fun, then S & M probably isn't for you. But, remember: no pain, no gain.

The point of this do-it-yourself hygiene lesson? Remember that your mate has (sensitive) feelings, too. Our vaginas are delicate and really can't take so much of that bristly, pubic hair friction that you seem to be fond of. And, who knows, it might score you some blowjobs.

Till next week, meet all your needs and desires.

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