Break Up To Make Up

This week, Girl Friday wants you to throw it down, scrap it up and say you're sorry. Very, very sorry. Yes, that's right folks, this week is all about picking a fight and then making up because everybody knows that there's nothing better than make-up sex.

Of course, this might be harder than it sounds, because as Ed Norton reminds us in Fight Club, people will go out of their way to avoid a fight. What occurs to me, however, is that the avoidance of conflict has made us all into a bunch of sniveling, politically-correct wussies. When do ever get to pick a real, knock-down, all-out fight?

Perhaps, I've just been overly inspired by my cousin's suggestion of a GirlFight club, but women aren't supposed to get mad. We're not even supposed to be confrontational. Of course, we reserve the right to be snippy and snarky and cranky if we don't get our way, but ladies, it's time to get mad and get even.

So, go home tonight, and get pissed off. Don't allow yourself to be pacified. Unleash your inner bitch. Imitate hot-blooded, passionate women of the silver screen who aren't afraid to rage and rant a little to get their way. Of course, note that there is a line between passionate and just plain fucking scary. Catherine Deneuve is good, Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female is bad. Catherine Zeta Jones in Zorro is excellent; Faye Dunaway in Mommy Dearest is insane. You get the picture.

Before you lose your cool, however, I suggest throwing on something a little more comfortable. That's right, get mad in your Victoria's Secret peignoir, because Victoria's secret is coming out and she's fit to be tied. Imagine you in all your furious glory, lording it over your lover like the empowered, sexy Amazon you are. Muss up your hair for that just-shagged shag, perk up your nipples for ultimate sex-sational effect.

Go to your honey and rage if you have something to rage about. Otherwise, stand over him, look him deeply in the eyes, and announce you're mad and you're not taking it anymore. If you can't find anything to be mad about, make something up along the lines of, "You haven't tried to grab me/fondle me/pay attention to me/bend down, kiss my feet and polish the pedestal on which you place me for the last half hour and that pisses me off."

Remember, the goal of this game will be to eventually give in and give out. You don't want to get so keyed up that you end up mad at each other for days on end without talking. Hopefully, if all goes as planned, you'll be successful at picking a fight, yelling at each other for awhile, giving him puppydog eyes, apologizing about how wrong you really were and end up rolling around on the kitchen floor like a pair of Spanish flys.

Ultimately, if the tactics aren't going your way, you can always take the sneak attack by dropping to your knees mid-argument and performing oral sex. I can almost guarantee that will short-circuit any argument. The point is to rekindle that excitement and passion that you once felt. After all, fighting is the quickest route to igniting passion, so grab the nearest vase and throw.

Until next week, meet all your needs and desires.

Did you like this tip?

Please take a moment and tell us what you think about our tips. Click here to tell us what you think about Break Up To Make Up