Ring Around The Rosie

A sexy, steamy, floral bath a la American Beauty is the ultimate fantasy for any romantically-minded honey . Gentlemen, take heed. This is a recipe guaranteed to sweep your lover off her feet.

For the boys out there, I recommend tending to your genital areas. Many of my tips have included notes to the ladies to make sure their garden path is well trimmed. I can only say that men should return the favo r. Take a pair of nail scissors and trim that unsightly pubic hair down to size. Trust me, a little consid eration goes a looooong way.

Now, back to the sedu-cation.

Before your hardworking honey gets home, do some prep work. Buy a nice bottle of wine or champagne. Chill it. Buy some tasty finger goodies available at any gourmet delicatessen. The basic point here that if you r lady is a truffle nibbler or a fried chicken nosher, she'll be thrilled to her adorable little piggies t hat you've taken care of all needs.

Change the bed sheets to something sexy. Flannel might be nice, but it's a far cry from screaming "Shag m e, baby!" After you've made the bed (and if that little trick isn't enough to get you laid, I don't know w hat will) take some of the roses that you've purchased beforehand and strew some on the bed.

When she's on her way home, light some candles strategically around the house or bedroom. Candles are sec ond to none when it comes to atmosphere. Draw a hot bath complete with a nice bath oil and rose petals thr own into the water. Don't draw it too soon or it will be cold by the time you're ready for bathtime fun.

As soon as your lovely lady walks through that door, smother her with kisses, compliments and caresses. I would recommend the strong, silent approach like Rhett Butler. Kiss your woman thoroughly and often.

After she's warmed up a bit, slowly and sensuously begin removing her clothes. Take the time to really ap preciate her. Notice the texture of her skin, the way she smells, the curves of her body.

After a while, lead her to the bath where you've set up candles, wine (in plastic cups for safety) and a nice silicone-based lube that won't dissolve in water.

Let her get in and relax. Strip off your duds and join her for bathtub fun. Lest I need remind you of sex y bathtub scenes from Pretty Woman to The English Patient? Take a washcloth or sponge and wash her. Massag e her. Feeling sexy is all about being comfortable.

When you feel like the moment is right, reach for that silicone-based lube (ID Millennium is a good bet) and lube up. Penetration should be smooth as silk. Wrap her legs around you in an upright position and mak e sure you don't force water inside her. There's nothing fun about infections.

When the water fun is done, take your lady out of the bath, pat her dry with a fluffy towel and move the love into the bedroom for round two. I guarantee your bathing beauty will be ready for the main course!

Till next week, meet all your needs and desires.

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