Watch Your Language

What do you say when you're having sex? What sounds do you make? Are you dirty? Filthy? Kinky? Do you pretend you're a high-priced call girl or the sex-crazed cabana boy? Do you beg for it? Are you the boss? Or do you say absolutely nothing at all?

If you find yourself sexually speechless, let me suggest a few ways to get your tongue wagging and your heart thumping.

We all need positive re-enforcement in the bedroom. Nothing boosts your confidence like knowing you're pushing all the right buttons. If you're too shy to start dirty talking right away, initiate by moaning and groaning. Heavy breathing can also convey an important message. A little hitched breath, sounds like pure pleasure. We're in our animal primal state while we're having sex....so why not sound like a jungle cat?

Compliments are so easy to give and go such a long way. Tell your man you adore his member -that it's huge, or smooth or hard. This one's a give away, girls. Ladies love to hear that they've got a smokin' ass, or that they've got silky skin. Customize. There are things that attract you to your mate. Let them know what those things are. Start with the eyes, the hair, the muscle tone and move on to more sexual features.

Take the guesswork out of sex, by giving concise directions. Tell your honey where exactly you want their hands, tongue etc, and with what degree force should be applied. Let them know how what they are doing feels, when to repeat and how fast etc. You'll be taken aback at how quickly your mechanical instructions turn into "Ride me like a wild Bull in the Rodeo Championships" or "Pound me like a Jackhammer."

A final stage of the gradually escalating bedroom banter ends in theatrics. Once you've suitably warmed up to the idea of setting your oral inhibitions loose, consider role play. It offers the opportunity to be someone you're not. This can be exhilarating. Some scenarios I love are: Strangers on a One-Night Stand, Hiring your Partner for sex - you also get to be very instructive in this role or Family Pets in the Garage - just kidding.

Start where you're comfortable. Be sure that your partner is comfortable as well. And push your limits gradually. You'll be glad you did.

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