Making Safer Sex Fun

Sex In The 21st Century

For many, safer sex has become a chore, something that you do so you don’t suffer the consequences. The portrayal of safer sex in the media is often sterile, almost medical. We are bombarded with images and advice about safer sex. Condom companies market their products on television, AIDS activists make us fear for our lives (and rightly so!) and news stories tell us about the ever increasing number of unwanted pregnancies. The fact that many of us have to change our behavior is quite clear; sex can be dangerous in certain ways with certain people. But wait a minute, sex is supposed to be fun, to be a means of expressing love, and of sharing in one another. Well, sex can still be fun, it just has to be practiced in a newfangled way. Hopefully some of the suggestions below will help you to learn some new tricks to being safe and having pleasurable, satisfying sex.

Making the condom ritual a winner with your lover

The condom is the most widely used method for safer sex. Although the condom is one of the best ways to protect against several STDs, many men and women complain that the condom tends to ‘dull the feeling’, making sex less pleasurable. Well, you’re going to have to live with a little reduction in sensation, because latex does act to cover the nerves that produce pleasure on the penis, and alter the feeling of the penis in the vagina for the woman. However, all is not lost - there are ways to increase sensation for you and your partner when wearing a condom.  The first recommendation we would have is to try using Crown Condoms.  Manufactured by Okamoto, the known and trusted makers of Beyond Seven, Crown Condoms are not only the world's thinnest condom, but also a reliable and safe alternative to the standard condoms available at local drugstores. 

Shop around.

Try a variety of different condoms. Experiment with the length, thickness and features of the condom. Some condoms, such as the Vivid Studded, come with ribbing or ridges that act to increase stimulation for the receiving partner.   Other condoms come with flavoring and fun colors as a pleasant alternative. Some uncircumcised men find that condoms can interfere with their foreskin, making sex unenjoyable. Condom companies have new styles with "more head room" designed to solve this problem.  One possible choice is the Vivid Large condom, that provides for extra space and a more enjoyable experience.

Experiment with a wide range of style and varieties. The trying is almost as fun as the finding!

Dress your condom up for pleasure.

Just before you put on the condom, spread some water-based lubricant (we recommend Astroglide) on the head of your penis. The glans is then gently massaged by the lubricant as intercourse takes place. As you can imagine this technique is quite popular, and the enjoyment starts the minute you run to the bedroom and try it!

Spend more time on foreplay.

Most foreplay is perfectly safe, and is often as pleasurable as sex itself. Safer sex couples who want to get the most out of every bit of lovemaking will stretch foreplay until both are near or approaching climax. Put that condom on and enjoy each other, sex after lasting foreplay will help you forget the condom is even there.

Maintain a positive attitude.

Experiment with which partner puts the condom on. Try to incorporate the activity into your sexual ‘routine’. Be creative with the before and after, and always make it fun!

Condoms, dental dams and oral sex

Performing oral sex using a dental dam or condom can be an unpleasant taste experience. One major complaint about latex has always been its displeasing taste. What’s worse, latex that is pretreated with lubricant can turn any normal condom into a nightmare for the taste buds.

Some advice:

Get your own lubricants.

If you find your own brand of lubricant, you can start buying unlubricated condoms or dental dams to use for oral sex, and lubricate (hopefully with a spermicidal lubricant) when you’re ready to have intercourse. Also, many lubricants come in a variety of flavors which many a mouth finds more pleasant than latex.

Buy flavored condoms and dental dams.

Most erotic boutiques have a variety of condoms which will please even the most discriminating tastes. You may even like the taste of flavored latex more than the real thing!

Add your own toppings to the latex.

One word of caution is that you should make sure that the food products do not contain any oil which will act to break down the dental dam or condom. You may want to try some whipped cream, chocolate sauce or anything else which sounds tasty to you.

Some alternatives to the dental dam

Dental dams offer a unique kind of problem. Many people do not like to use dental dams because they like to feel the tongue to clitoris or tongue to anus stimulation. Along with dental dams, you can employ some other stimulation to complete the experience. Wear a latex glove covered in lubricant to further tease your partners anus or vagina. If dental dams are becoming a problem because you are tired of holding something on your partner, you can use plastic wrap (no, we’re not kidding) and wrap it around the vagina and/or anus. While cellophane is not as good protection as latex (and should never be used instead of condoms), using it will keep the hands free to use elsewhere.

The bottom line

Allow yourself to enjoy safer sex. Develop a positive attitude towards safer sex that will enable you to escape the pressures of doing it without protection. Use your humor and imagination to develop new and exciting strategies for dealing with this new kind of sex, sex in the 21st century.